Maiden, Mother, Keeper, Crone--The New Archetype for the 21st Century Woman
Even in this modern, scientific age, most people are familiar with the three archetypes of the Divine Feminine — Maiden, Mother, and Crone. For centuries, if not millennia, these three faces of woman have been not only worshipped, but also used as archetypes for navigating the complex psychological experience of being a woman. Whether used in storytelling or psychoanalysis, archetypes are an important tool for helping humans relate to who they are and to one another. They show up in our myths, both modern (Lord of the Rings) and ancient (Beowulf). Screenwriters use the “Hero’s Journey” to pull us into the narrative, reporters will focus on the maidenhood of the young girl gone missing, and the image of the wise, old woman is central to female identity in most cultures.
Modern feminist writers often explain that the Hero’s Journey is prevalent in all literature due to the inherent misogyny of the writers of ancient literature. Some of this thinking has swung so far left that entire works from the Western literary canon are being removed from liberal arts curriculum across the nation due the stories’ patriarchal, male focus. As a woman who has always enjoyed a good hero story, I’m a bit overwhelmed by these efforts to force our modern lifestyle upon ancient texts. The roles we played in the past were due to some very good reasons, foremost of which is biology. And not just any biology, but the biology of reproduction. Until the advent of modern birth control, a woman’s world was guided, shaped and controlled by her reproduction cycles. Consider this, in 1957 The FDA approved the pill, but only for severe menstrual disorders, not as a contraceptive. Subsequently, an unusually large number of women reported severe menstrual disorders. In 1960, the pill was approved for contraceptive use. Hmm…
The point here is that until 1960 C.E., reliable birth control was non-existent. A woman’s life was defined by her reproductive system, and if she wanted to share her life with a man, which was basically her only path to safety, children were the inevitable result.
All three faces of the Divine Feminine reflect this fact. The Maiden is the potential mother. The Mother is the caregiver and the Crone is the grandmother, the one who supports the other women by setting up the Maiden with fine suitors, and helping the Mothers raise their little ones. A female setting out on a Hero’s Journey in that age was a near impossibility and with the exception of some legendary women, Joan of Arc comes to mind and look at how her story ended, the majority of human females were either caring for, or preparing for, children. Thus the archetype to inspire her would be the Triune Goddess, and the archetype to inspire men would be the Consort of the Goddess, such as The Green Man or Pan, or the Hero, for men’s identity has long been wrapped up in their virility and ability to succeed in a mission.
But what about now? Rather than focus on how the past doesn’t meet our world standards, might it be time to take a look at our society as it is, and adjust the archetypes to meet the Age of Reproductive Freedom? For even though legislators still wish to take this freedom away, we can’t undo the fact that we now have the technology to put off pregnancy till we’re older, or refrain from having children entirely. In addition, women can limit the number of children they have. Combine this reproductive freedom with life extension technologies and it becomes apparent that while the Maiden, Mother, Crone archetype covers a certain part of the modern female experience, it leaves out one type of woman altogether — the childless woman.
Modern Maidenhood is no longer about a woman’s mothering potential. Instead young girls are now taught they too can set out on the Hero’s Journey. From “Eat, Pray, Love” to “Wild,” we now have stories of women charging out into the world and exploring, while also discovering their inner selves. Perhaps she will become a mother, but the why’s and when’s are hers to decide along with her partner. Merely entering into a sexual relationship with a man doesn’t require the commitment of motherhood.
Believe it or not, many women still want to be mothers. The advent of the pill didn’t erase the biological and emotional draw of raising children. To be a Modern Mother is to perhaps have it all, and each of us finds her own path. But work outside of the home isn’t the biggest change to this phase of a woman’s life. It’s actually the fact that during her fertile years, from say 12 to 40, a healthy woman may ovulate 336 times, but only give birth once, at most twice. As a matter of fact, it turns out that middle children are actually disappearing! Prior to 1960, the average marrying age for women was 20. Most of them found themselves pregnant with their first child by 21. A typical female would continue to have children for the rest of her marriage and it was often the experience that as a woman entered menarche, her youngest child might be 8 or 9 while her eldest would be guess what? Having children of their own!
Which meant that the age of the Crone, or grand-mothering, often overlapped mothering. Think about it, prior to modern birth control, this was the life of the female — regular pregnancy and birth, and the raising of children. Maidenhood lasted about five years, mothering for forty, and grand-mothering for the last 10, if she was lucky. The average life expectancy of a woman in 1960 was 73.1, though that too was thanks to a different technological invention — prior to antibiotics the life expectancy for women was 48. Imagine it, you might have a few grandkids as well as a few kids still living at home, and then you’re dead. Just like that, life is over.
This is NOT the case for modern women. Certainly many of the women that came of age during second-wave feminism still followed this traditional path, yet they’re now living well beyond 73 years. The number of Americans ages 65 and older is projected to more than double from 46 million today to over 98 million by 2060, and the 65-and-older age group’s share of the total population will rise to nearly 24 percent from 15 percent. (Fact Sheet: Aging in the US)
A woman today may find herself empty-nested at say 47, but it’s clear she’s not a crone, especially if she’s likely to live to over 80. In addition, her own children will most likely put off having any children of their own for ten years or more after leaving the house, as the average age of first births is now 28 for women, 30 for men. Lastly, American families are mobile, and many grandmothers often don’t live anywhere near their grandchildren.
It appears that while every woman will leave the Maiden stage, many won’t become mothers and many mothers will find themselves with decades of midlife without children. Is a childless 42 y.o. woman a Crone? Please.
We could argue that this is the age of the Female Hero, or that the Future is Female, and that’s all fine and dandy, but what if the Divine Feminine just needs a fourth archetype, one for the woman who is not a caregiver of children, but has not yet reached the elder, yet wiser, stage of the Crone? Popular culture has already begun creating this archetype for us — they call her the Cougar. She’s the older, sexy woman out to turn a cub into a man, and while that leaves out reproduction, it still focuses solely on a woman’s mating potential — even though no children will be a part of having sex with her, the term Cougar is still all about her sexual attractiveness. It’s vulgar at best, but sometimes the very answers to the most important questions about life reside within the profane.
What exactly is a Cougar? According to Oregon Wild, “As a top predator, cougars play a critical role in maintaining the health of the ecosystems they live in. First documented in the return of healthy riparian structures in Yellowstone Park after the reintroduction of wolves, top predators such as cougars, wolves, and bears have repeatedly been shown to have a disproportionate impact on the health of ecosystems by keeping the populations of herbivores such as deer and elk in check. Prolonged absence of these predators leads herbivorous animal populations to wreak havoc on ecosystems’ vegetation, reducing the health and biodiversity of both plants and animals. Recently, the absence of cougars in Zion National Park, and the resulting large populations of deer, has been linked to eroded stream banks and a loss of riparian vegetation and species.”
Essentially cougars, or mountain lions as they’re more commonly known, are Keepers of the environments in which they live. They provide the balance. Remove the cougar and other animals will wreak havoc on the ecosystem. Hmm…I think this sounds like a familiar modern tale.
Our ecosystem has run amok with all sorts of Heroes making their mark on the world while the Divine Feminine tended the continuation of the species. It’s no coincidence that only fifteen years after developing technology capable of destroying the entire planet (the Manhattan Project was in full swing in 1945), reproductive technology frees women from decades of childbearing.
What then are all these well-educated, child-less women to do?
Tons. That’s what. They are the KEEPERS of this world, a new archetype that’s part hero, part manager. She exists not to merely make her mark on the world, it’s more than that. The definition of keeper is, “a person who manages or looks after something or someone.” That might sound a lot like mothering, and of course mothering is the looking after someone. But the list of somethings that need our attention is long, and it’s not a honey-do list.
The future is as yet undefined, but one thing is certain, a new economy is being born, one based on information as currency, and information, like blood, demands to flow, lest it cause congestion, or cardiac arrest. Information can’t be horded, or caught up in stream banks that due to neglect have eroded and blocked the path. This new world needs Keepers to clear the way for evolution, we need women who are ready to give to the world what they were once told could only be given to their children — their precious time and attention. I’ve loved my years at home raising my kids, but as they leave me to make their marks in the world, I see a life wide open. The world is my oyster, if only I want to roll up my sleeves and join in the action. What part needs my tending? What part needs balance? What part needs my enthusiasm or knowledge? Where have things run amok?
And while the Hero’s Journey makes a good story, you don’t have to write a best-selling memoir or have Reece Witherspoon star in the movie of your life. You can also stay put and be a Keeper, collecting experiences and knowledge, and putting your efforts into the making and shaping of a 21st century world. Whether as a politician, community activist, or sequencing back into the professional world after time off raising the kids, there is a world out there waiting for you to not merely lean into it, but to jump into it, arms wide and ready for action.
To all Keepers, the ones I’ve met, the ones in my future, and the sister’s I’ll only know in cyberspace.
Let’s do this.