Justice's Setlist Explained Part Two (SPOILER ALERT)
WARNING: Before you go any further, this post explains why I chose the songs I did for the novel, Justice: A love story, part one. If you haven’t read the book, but want to, then DO NOT READ this. It contains tons of spoilers.
For those of you who have read Justice and are curious as to why I chose the songs I did for the novel, then read on...
image by @hitchreads
When I sat down to write Justice, I knew that it had to be set in the ‘90s. To get in the mood, I started listening to my favorite songs from that era of my life. This story opens on Halloween 1992 and ends in early February 1996. So I researched what songs were most popular from 1992-1996. As I was doing this, I got an idea—why not make each chapter title a song from that era? I picked songs that set the mood of the scene, or are mentioned in the scene, or playing in the scene, essentially bringing the story to life via song.
As I wrote, the songs began to weave a story themselves, some even worked as foreshadowing future scenes, especially when I linked them together. Some were chosen because they captured the inner life of the character whose POV you’re in, others because they moved me while I was writing, and some because I wanted to honor a friend of mine from that time. I created a list called Justice and started throwing songs in there all willynilly. With time, I’d choose one and write the scene. This became the novel setlist. In the end, I love this setlist and listened to it over and over as I edited the manuscript and the story formed into the final version you now have in your hands.
Since so many of you have asked me why I picked the songs I did, it only makes sense to give you a little guide to the soundtrack of Grace, Justice, and Erik’s story. Here it is, a song guide to Justice: A love story, part one. I’d love to hear what you think.
Given there are 49 chapters in the book, which means 49 songs, I’m splitting this up into four posts. No one can read something that’s too long anymore, right?
This is part two covering Chapter Twelve through the end Part One in the novel. To read about the first twelve songs in the book, read PART ONE.
You can listen to the setlist on Spotify here.
Chapter Twelve: Foolish Game, Jewel, First released 1995
This song wasn’t technically released at the time the story takes place, which is early December 1992. It still falls in the range of pre-1996, so I went with it for two reasons. First, Jewel was the heartbreak queen of the radio in the late ‘90s, sort of the Taylor Swift at that time when it came to songs about ex-lovers, and this song in particular truly describes the state of Grace’s heart. Justy refuses to take her needs seriously. She wants to remain in his life; he won’t even discuss it. Excuse me, I must have mistaken you for somebody else. Somebody who gave a damn, somebody more like myself. Grace is simply too innocent to understand or handle the emotions Justy evokes. For his part, is there a better description of him in song? You were always the mysterious one, with dark eyes and careless hair. You were fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care...
Chapter Thirteen: Black Hole Sun, Soundgarden, First Released May 1994
Another song released after this scene takes place, but it was very popular the month I graduated from Purdue and I recall hanging in the fishbowl at Harry’s with this song blasting when I was a senior. Since Justy’s a senior about to graduate, again, I went with it. This is the mood of his heart, of the scene. We finally know why he’s so willing to end it with Grace—he’s left a girl behind before and she cheated on him. Not only that, she cheated on him with his best friend and got pregnant while sleeping with both guys. He was only 19 when that happened and he never shook it off. Now, he loves a girl even more than that who has two more years of college left and no interest in living in Indy where he’s expected to join the family business. Worse, she has that handsome study buddy, Erik. No, Justy can’t handle any of it. So what does he do? Gets wasted, in the fish bowl, at Harry’s. Hang my head, drown my fear ‘til you all just disappear. Enter Kat and Justy goes the whole way down into the black hole of his heart. Hides the face, lies the snake* in the sun in my disgrace. *note the snake reference
Chapter Fourteen: Free Fallin’, Tom Petty, First Released 1989
Where Justy is a REM guy, Erik is more Tom Petty. This song is about bad boys who don’t even miss the girls whose hearts they break and the good girls who are at home with said broken hearts. In this case, the good girl is stuck in the computer lab while the bad boy is having sex with her best friend. This scene a tiny bit autobiographical—I spent many late nights coding in the Math-Science Lab with my fellow software students, listening to the Dead and Tom Petty, often wishing I was at a party with my friends. Erik knows Grace is hurting and when they’re done with their work, he tries to keep her from heading to Justy’s unannounced. Erik knows Justy is the kind of guy who’d have some rando girl in his room. What he doesn’t know is that the girl is Kat. This is important, Erik may know about the pair’s past, and he may even have some suspicions about them in the future, but Kat lies and deflects whenever he asks and Erik never finds out it was her until Kat is long gone.
Chapter Fifteen: Running Up That Hill, Kate Bush, First Released 1985
No, I didn’t choose this song as a nod to Stranger Things. Kate Bush was on replay in most CD players in the ‘90s, and this song in particular. Yes, Justy has this album on while screwing Kat, and yes, Grace, drunk, high, and desperate, hears it while she’s trying to get into his room to see him. She wanted closure and she got it all right. This scene and the next two were hard to write. It hurt to edit them as well. It still hurts to read them. Betrayal at any age is so painful, but when you’re young? It remains in our hearts forever, even when we think it’s long gone. Do you wanna know, know that it doesn’t hurt me? But see how deep the bullet lies? Oh, there is thunder in our hearts. If I only could make a deal with God, then I’d get him to swap our places...
Chapter Sixteen: Creep, Radiohead, First Released 1992
Another painful scene. Justy wakes up beside a naked Kat and runs to the bathroom to get sick, the realization of his perfidy sinking in. Carleton confronts him, and honestly, it’s the only part of the scene that makes me smile, because we finally see his true self. Justy’s disgusting behavior has awakened Carleton to his own filthy habits, and this is where he starts to grow up. It will take Justy another two decades at least. In the meantime, he’s a Creep, and he knows it and rather than face Grace, he flees, leaving her without even a goodbye. When you were here before. Couldn't look you in the eye. You're just like an angel... But I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doin' here? I don't belong here.
Chapter Seventeen: Stay, Lisa Loeb, First Released 1994
One of the things I wanted to do with this novel was to pay tribute to the culture of the ‘90s and that includes movies. There were so many classics, it was hard to choose, and besides, I didn’t want the story to get bogged down with too many references, so I killed two birds with one stone here, using a song from the soundtrack from Reality Bites, pretty much the story of Gen X and classic Winnona Ryder, and as you’ll see later in the story, a favorite of Kat, Erik, and Graces. Besides, Grace is alone in Justy’s room, nothing but a thong in the corner to remind her he ever existed, yet she still wishes he’d stayed, not only to say goodbye, but she wishes he’d stayed in her life. The lover's in love and the other's run away. Lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay.
Chapter Eighteen: I Will Always Love You, Whitney Houston, First Released 1992
Another soundtrack from a ‘90s movie, a remake of Dolly Parton’s song for The Bodyguard starring Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner. Not sure how many people saw the movie, but the song was a hit. You can’t have a playlist from the ‘90s without at least one Whitney song on it. Why this scene? First of all, because Whitney was a diva and so is Justy. Second, he does love Grace, and even if he’s incredibly selfish and cowardly, he knows this and he will love her for the rest of his life. For him, it will always be Grace.
Chapter Nineteen: Zombie, Cranberries, First Released 1994
Fast forward five months, it’s Grand Prix, and Grace is a shell of herself. Erik is heartbroken, for instead of falling into his arms when the douchebag fails her, Grace falls into her pain as well as a bottle of whiskey and the arms of every boy she meets. I thought the guitar in this song described the way Grace feels inside. She is a zombie, she isn’t herself, and all of her agony is in her head. If she could see the love sitting in front of her, smoking his cigarettes and fretting over her, she’d find paradise. But she’s too consumed in her own nightmares. She’s taking out her anger on the men around her, and Erik takes out his anger by punching Justy in the face before running back into the arms of his ex-girlfriend, Amy, where he safely remains until it’s nearly too late.
Chapter Twenty: Closer to Fine, The Indigo Girls, First Released 1989
In honor of my “girls” I knew this song had to make the cut and this chapter is perfect for many reasons. First, it’s a year later, May of 1994, and Grace is the one graduating. For those Purdue alumni, I can’t believe how many times we’d request this song at Rich Hardesty nights (remember him, he’s on IG for those who care: richhardestymusic). It was like an anthem; I spent four years prostrate to the higher mind. Got my paper and I was free. Second, Grace is closer to fine. She’s healing. She’s not angry. She has new friends and is looking forward to her future. Of course, just as she’s feeling on top of the world, she bumps into Justy, in the men’s bathroom of all places.
Chapter Twenty-One: Laid, James, First Released 1993
The title of this song is the perfect title for this chapter. Grace decides to use Justy to lose her virginity. She takes him to the secret apartment and learns all about the pleasures of the body. I think that’s enough of an explanation. This bed is on fire with passionate love, the neighbors complain about the noises above. But she only comes when she’s on top...
Chapter Twenty-Two: Just Like Heaven, The Cure, First Released 1987
Justy can’t believe his luck. He’s reunited with Grace and she demands to have sex with him! "Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick. The one that makes me scream," she said. To him, there is nothing more beautiful than Grace on top. Spinning on that dizzy edge. Kissed her face and kissed her head. Dreamed of all the different ways. I had to make her glow. How can he leave her again? He decides he can’t and works up the courage to give her his number. He begs her to call him once she’s settled in Chicago. He promises to visit her. Her response? She tosses his number out of the car window as she drives away, writing him out of her life, forever.